


Soothing Tears

by Kitkatcandyful



Category: Life of the Party D&D (Web Series)
Genre: Homesickness, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22211632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitkatcandyful/pseuds/Kitkatcandyful
Summary: Boblem begins to feel the weight of some serious homesickness but get some help from an unlikely source.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Soothing Tears

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on the lovely characters from the Life of the Party D&D series by NyxRising Industries. So if you haven't checked them out yet please do. :)

With a startled gasp Boblem’s eyes shot open from his position on the ground, his hand reaching for something unseen. Moisture pooled at the corner of his eyes that he quickly wiped away to prevent them from falling. He couldn’t believe he had had that dream again for the sixth night in a row. Glancing up at the moon revealed it had only been a couple hours at most since he had fallen asleep. Even less than last night. Normally he would just roll over and at least pretend to sleep until the rest of the group started getting up but the idea of laying on the ground with nothing but his own thoughts, was not very appealing right now. With a small sigh Boblem pulled himself up into a sitting position and looked around their little impromptu campsite. 

The fire they had made had reduced down to embers so the light it cast didn’t extend very far, but on the other side Boblem caught sight of another figure who also appeared to be awake sitting with their back to him. Rubbing the rest of the sleep from his eyes Boblem got up and began to make his way quietly over, trying not to disturb the other sleeping members of group. Maybe a friendly chat would help get his mind off of his dream. Rounding the fire revealed the figure to be that of Cassian. He appeared to be using the dying light of the fire to look at that book that Boblem had seen him reading every now and then when he thought no one was looking. 

Boblem wouldn’t admit it out loud but Cassian was definitely not his first chose for a conversation partner at the moment but considering the time of night he didn’t have too many options. So putting on his most welcoming smile he wondered closer. “Mind if I join you?”

Cassian had promptly shut his book and started putting it away before replying. “You are free to do as you wish.”

“Sweet” Boblem plopped himself down next to Cassian. He ended up swaying a bit as his tired body objected to the sudden change in positions. Cassian glanced over at him but didn’t say anything. The silence stretched for a bit as Boblem tried to get more comfortable. Then after it became obvious Cassian wasn’t going to start a conversation Boblem decided to take the initiative. 

“Do you ever sleep?” Ok, that was way more abrasive than he had planned but his sleep deprived brain wasn’t exactly working at 100%. Cassian merly raised an eyebrow at him. “Boblem you know perfectly well that I do not require the same sleep as you.”

“Well ya, I know. It’s just weird that I've never seen you asleep once the entire time I’ve known ya.” At this Cassian rolled his eyes and looked away. “Just because you do not see it does not mean it does not happen.” 

“Do ya think I could learn to do that? Not need to sleep I mean.” Cassian actually seemed to ponder this for a second. “I do not believe so. Half-elves are not normally gifted with such an ability due to the mixing of their blood.” Boblem hummed at this but didn’t actually have anything to reply with. Silence fell between them. This conversation was not going as he had hoped. But to his surprise Cassian was the one who continued talking. 

“Is there a reason you are up this time of night? You are not usually a night person unless you have been put on watch.” And this was definitely not where he wanted the conversation to go. “What, am I not allowed to be up passed my bedtime? I’m not a kid ya know.” Again, Boblem’s tone came out far harsher than he had intended but he really didn’t want this topic to continue. Cassian unfortunately did not share this sentiment. “I do not recall accusing you of such a thing. I am merely stating that that you have been increasingly out of sorts as of late.” 

“Ya, well sorry I can’t be a ball of sunshine 24/7.” Boblem muttered. Cassian frowned and then let out an exasperated sigh. “Again, I have not accused you of this. But if we are going to breach that subject maybe you should take that statement to heart. Between you and Astra the air of positive optimism you exude can be quite exhausting at times.”

“Well maybe you should try to be more positive sometimes and then you wouldn’t come across as such an asshole.” Boblem clicked his mouth shut after saying that. It had slipped out before he had even thought about what he was saying. He didn’t need to look as Cassian to feel the glare he was getting from the elf. The awkward silence stretched for a bit as neither was in a particular hurry to continue the conversation. Boblem was a little surprised Cassian hadn’t gotten up and stormed off as he was prone to do. Though it was probably for the best as Boblem did feel pretty bad about it. 

Turning back around but keeping his eyes on the ground Boblem said “Cassian, I’m sorry. I….I didn’t mean to say that…I...I’m just…….” Great, now his words were starting to fail him too. “You didn’t mean to say, does not mean you didn’t mean it.” Glancing up at Cassian’s face showed he didn’t look as angry as Boblem had expected but his words had enough bite to them that Boblem flinched anyway. “No, I didn’t…..I wasn’t…… I’m just...just very tired is all.” Boblem took a deep breath and held it in for a count before letting it out. Turning to Cassian fully this time. “But that is no excuse for behaving this way. I shouldn’t be lashing out because of my own issues, and I really am sorry for that. I didn’t mean it, I really am just tired.”

Cassian let out his own little sigh and his posture finally relaxed a bit. The awkwardness was still there but at least it had dropped to a more tolerable level. “You really are a curious creature sometimes Boblem.” The statement felt like it came so far out of nowhere that all Boblem’s stuttering brain could respond with was a confused “Huh?”. 

“Most of the time you are exactly as I evision you to be. A child, thrown into a world they don’t understand but still taking everything in with a child-like naivety that is, honestly, startling sometimes with how little you seem know.”

“Oh.” There wasn’t anything else to say to that and after his outburst he probably deserved it, but then Cassian continued. “But then at times, you spout words with such maturity and wisdom behind them that I have honestly begun assuming you are actually some elder god playing at being mortal for you own amusement.” At this Boblem snorted out a dry laugh. “Well I can promise you I’m not anything so fantastical. I’m just Boblem.” 

“Yes, you have stated as much before.” Cassian shifted his position to fully face Boblem now. “That being said, I do want to know what has been bothering you lately. You have been lucky this past week has granted us peaceful travel, but with our group that can not last long. Who knows what could happen if you tried to enter a battle in your current state, to yourself or to us.”

Boblem starts fidgeting, picking at the grass in front of him. “It’s not that bad. It’s nothing anyone needs to worry about.” Cassian raises an eyebrow at him, clearly not believing him. “It really is nothin’. It’s just a ... dream I’ve been having. It’s nothin’ ” 

“And yet this nothing has kept you from sleeping for almost a week now.” Boblem looked up in surprise. “Your sleep acting needs some work.” Cassian continues. “The others might not have taken full notice yet but if this continues they are bound to take note.” Boblem’s fidgeting intensifies. 

“It’s not that bad. I only lose a … couple … hours of sleep.” Boblem didn’t need to look at Cassian’s face to know his lie wasn’t working. The awkwardness was rising back to uncomfortable levels and at this point Boblem was seriously considering using shape earth to just create a hole that could swallow him up and end his misery. 

“Boblem.” 

Boblem’s entire body stiffens. He knows that tone all too well. It was the same tone his Ma would use when she caught him lying or trying to keep a secret. It was a tone that would not stand for any nonsense. Boblem had thought it was something only his Ma and Pa could really pull off but maybe it was something anyone could do when they got to a certain age? Cassian was probably much older then his grandparents so maybe? Would he be able to do it if he lived that long?

“Boblem!” Cassian’s snapping voice finally broke Boblem out of his spiralling thoughts and he snapped his head up to finally look Cassian in the face. Despite his words there was no anger there, only a steady determination that said he was willing to sit there all night if it meant getting what he wanted. What little resolve Boblem had left crumbled. Dragging his knees to his chest Boblem started speaking.

“It really is just a dream. It even starts out as a pretty good one. It’s just me, and I’m back on the farm, and everything is exactly as I remember it. The house, the barn, the animals. Pa is usually outside fixing something or planting a new crop for the season. Ma helps him sometimes or she is inside cooking something amazing that I can almost smell it. It’s so warm and happy and I just want to stay there for as long as I can. But then… “

“Then?” Cassian asks.

“Things just start, fading. It’s gradual at first, but it starts going faster and faster. I’ve never seen how our farm moves in the middle of the night but I think this is how I always envisioned it happenin’. Just fading out of one place and into another. But this time I’m not fading with it. All I can do is stand there and watch as everything I love disappears around me. And the worst part is Ma and Pa don’t seem to notice what's happenin’. I try to get their attention but my voice doesn't make any sound and they just keep working and smiling as they keep fading. It’s like…. Like they don’t even realize I’m not there. And then, it’s all gone. I’m alone. And it hurts, like something is squeezing my heart from the inside. It almost feels like they… like I was ...”

“Abandoned?” Boblem stiffens. Having Cassian say it out loud brought a new torrent of emotions crashing down on Boblems shoulders. “Is that what it felt like when you left for real? Like they were abandoning you?”

“No! Course not! It’s not like they just kicked me out. We talked about it, I agreed to it. But for some reason this stupid dream makes me feel like…” Boblem couldn’t even voice the thought out loud. 

“You cannot deny that they did sort of leave you to fend for yourself, I think it is perfectly reasonable for there to be a least a little resentment about that.” Boblem frowned at that. Well it did explain some of the things he’s been feeling due to the dream he didn’t think it quite covered everything. Leaning his head on his knees he mumbled. “The dreams not the only thing that’s been bothering me though.”

“Oh?” Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. Boblem began picking at the grass next to him again. “Lately y’all have started sharing more about the places you come from, and it just made me realize some things. I know some of you don’t want to, or even can’t go home but y’all at least have a place that you can go back too. Even Elyse has a family that she is trying to get to. But my home, my family, I literally have no idea where they are right now. When I left it was always under this assumption that I would come back one day, but I’ve started to realize that I have no idea how to do that.”

“Well you may not have ever witnessed how the magic of your home worked, I would think it was not something that happened at random. Surely your grandparents had some control over it. Maybe they planned to bring the farm to you after a set amount of time?” Cassian’s logic was sound but Boblem’s frayed nerves weren't helping him listen to reason.

“But what if something happens to them? What if they lose control, or it really is just random teleporting? What if one of them gets hurt, or the farm gets attacked, or ... or.” Boblem can feel his words getting frantic but he couldn’t find a way to make it stop. All the dark thoughts he had been having over the past week had all come crashing in, filling his head with a blackness that he feared was going to suffocate him. He could feel water welling behind his eyes again so he pulled his knees closer to his chest and buried his face into them as if he could physically stop the tears from falling. 

“I just keep thinking, what if the last time I saw them was the last time I will ever see them again. They could be h-hurt, or sick, or…. And I would never know. Just the thought that I might lose them t-terrifies me.” Boblem curled even further into his ball. He just couldn’t take it anymore. His chest felt too tight, his breath came out in stuttered gasps, his head felt like someone had stuffed it full of cotton. The muscles on his back and arms began to shake uncontrollably from the weight of his own emotions. He was just so tired. 

Suddenly there was a soft touch on the back of his shoulder. It was light and hesitant but it gently started rubbing small circles in what Boblem assumed was supposed to be comforting motions. Despite that, it took Boblem a whole five seconds before his brain connected that this was Cassian’s doing. Tilting his head just enough that he could peek out of his arms Boblem glanced at Cassian’s face. He wasn’t even looking at him but he started talking anyway. 

“Look Boblem, I am not going to lie and say you are definitely going to see them again. Because you are right, there are so many things that could happen and you may never meet again in this lifetime.” Cassina finally removed his hand and turned to face Boblem again, a serious look on his face. “But I will tell you that you cannot let all these what if’s and maybe’s keep you from living your life. Things change, people come and go whether you want them to or not, and time marches forward at a relentless pace regardless of your feelings. You can either let these feelings consume you and root yourself in your fears and worries, never moving forward. Or” Here Cassian leans forward and catches Boblem’s eyes and holds his gaze. “You can embrace them. Acknowledge that you feel them, find out why you feel them, and then grow and move past it. I cannot truly speak for why they did it but if I had to take a guess I would think this is why your grandparents sent you out into the world. There are only so many things you can experience in one place, even in a place you love.”

Boblem’s eyes widen at this and he lifts his head a little more. The truth of Cassian’s words ringing in his head. Ever since he had left the farm Boblem had had so many new experiences. Learned about the world and about himself. Met this eclectic group of people that had managed to become like a second family to him. None of this would have been possible if he was still back home. 

“And besides.” Cassian continued “I honestly think if your Ma and Pa could see you right now. They would be pretty proud of the person you’ve grown into.”

And that was it. With that one sentence the last of the barriers that Boblem had constructed to keep his feelings in check crumbled. Fat tears flowed down his cheeks and for the first time Boblem did nothing to stop them. Small whimpered hiccups where all the noise he could make as all of his emotions he had bottled up till now came flooding out. Cassian’s expression quickly changed to one of concern. 

“Hay now, that was supposed to make you feel better not make it worse!” Boblem brought a hand up to wipe some of his tears, though it didn’t accomplish much, and shook his head. “No. It was just really sweet.” He managed to say in between hiccups. 

Cassian sighed. “If this is how you are going to react to me complimenting you, then I think I liked it better when you were insulting me.” Boblem lets out a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. And that's how it was for a time. Boblem quietly crying as Cassian set with him, occasionally patting him one the shoulder but otherwise not doing much other than being there. And honestly for Boblem that was more than enough for now. For as each tear fell to the dirt below more and more weight lifted from Boblem’s mind, until he felt lighter than he had in days. 

Finally the tears began to slow down and Boblem was able to get his breathing back under control. For a second he just set there and contemplated this new feeling. He certainly still felt sad, but it was no longer this raging storm in his head. Now it was more like a gentle breeze, present and a little cold but bearable. He was sure he looked a state but this was the best he had felt all week. Glancing at Cassian again Boblem felt he should say something to express his gratitude for the whole situation. 

“You know, I may have lied to you earlier.” Cassian looked at him a little perplexed. “You see, I actually am an elder god that came down to observe y’all and pass my judgement upon you.” Cassian’s eyebrow tweaked up, the smallest of smirks forming on his lips. “Oh, really.” He replied, words dripping with sarcasm. 

“Yep.” Boblem nodded “And I think I’ve come to a final decision about you.” Cassian leaned back on one arm and threw the other across a raised knee. “Oh, do tell.”

“I have decided that you… “ Here Boblem paused for dramatic effect. “Are an asshole.” Cassian snorted while Boblem continues. “You are self-centered and narcissistic at times, and care how you look just a little too much.” Cassian rolls his eyes. “But you are also kind, in your own way, and observant and despite how much to try to hide it, I think you really do care about the people close to you. So, I’ve sentenced you to be my friend. And since I am a god that means I’m going to live forever, so you are stuck with me. No take backs.” 

Cassian stares at him for half a second before a small chuckle escapes his lips that quickly turns into a full on laugh. It’s not a loud boisterous laugh like some of the others have, but it’s genuine and joyful and Boblem can feel his own smile stretching his face at being able to hear it. 

Eventually silents once again settles between them, but it’s no longer awkward or tense. If anything, it’s a calming silents like ones Boblem remembers having back home. Sitting on the porch with his grandparents after supper, watching the sun set and just enjoying each others company. After a while like this Boblem can feel his eyes growing heavy as a wave of exhaustion washes over him. As he struggles to keep his eyes open for just a little longer he soon picks out a sound from next to him. Cassian had begun to humm. Boblem had no idea what the tune was, but it flowed so naturally into the sounds of the night that Boblem could feel his whole body relax as he was lulled by the pleasant noise. 

And if his head just happen to fall on the nearest shoulder, it wasn’t really his fault. And if Cassian didn’t immediately push him off and tell him to go to bed, well, it’s not like anyone would be awake for at least a few more hours. 


End file.
